my new dream

**SHATOUSHKA** · July 9th, 2004, 10:17 AM

which is the reason i'm even awake right now...
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

my dream begins when i am around the age of 8.
my father owned an antique car... black and big
and scary. and i was seated in the front, passenger
side and the seat is small and uncomfortable and
i cannot move my legs from under the dash. there
is another kid, maybe a sibling? (do not know the
gender) in the back seat playing around and we
are locked in the garage and i remember that the
roof of the car has been badly burned but the
interior is fresh and new.

then suddenly i am no longer in the car but on
a huge antique bed in a dark room. the bed is
covered in a blood-red velvet blanket with golden
rope trim and tassels. and there is a grandmother-esque
figure laying in the bed and she is speaking to
me in a mumble and i do not pay attention because
i am looking at the room and the bed and the blanket.

and my age changes and i am 16 and in high
school and i am standing in class next to my desk
with everyone else and we are preparing to go
for the day and i am wearing my old blue jacket
with my black backpack. and my hair is long
and black and i am wearing jeans and those
soft brown suede shoes that i've always liked.

and without turning around i realize that the
guy i always liked in high school is also in the room
(which is impossible because he was a grade older
than i was) and the bell rings and everyone
shuffles out... but as i near the door and proceed
through it... everyone disappears and i am alone
and in my high school hallway heading towards
my locker....

which is only a few doors down... but as i near it
i realize that its the weekend and there is nothing
in my locker that i need... so i turn around and
head to the side door of the school (which normally
lead to the courtyard) but instead as i go through it...

i realize that its verging winter and the sky is
gray and covered in a sheet of cloud and the air
is biting cold... and instead of the courtyard the
door leads to a parking lot surrounded by woods...

and the trees are black and bare and all of their
orange leaves are making a two-foot blanket on
the ground... and i walk along the side of the
school and jump a spiders web that had stretched
out along the sidewalk...

and i head into the woods and just as i enter them
i see 3 domestic cats... turned wild and probably
living off the various bugs and rodents that eat
from the trash in the schoolyard and cafeteria
waste...

and i call to one which is big, cream colored and
puffy and its eyes are huge and black... ewok-style...
and it sits beneath a tree not just 5 feet away and
i bend down to flicker my fingers and call to it
and it doesn't move but stares at me...

but one of the other cats approaches and he too is
billowing soft fur and large eyes... and he is gray
and brown with black spots and he lets me take
him and so i do....

and we walk through the schoolyard to a neighboring
stream and we ride in a roofed gondola up the stream...
which is jungle-like and covered in foliage and
vines....

and i take him to the vet that does not talk... but
he says that the cat is fine and i can pick him up
tomorrow so i go home to a run-down two-story
wooden building in a dense part of downtown
in some city i've never been in.

and i am in my one-room apartment and it has
wooden floors and posters and newsclippings
on the walls and there are records on the floor
and the room is dark and poorly lit because there
is no electricity and only a few taper candles burning
and two other people are there sitting in the
center of the floor surrounding a table covered
in all sorts of papers and paints...

and one is a female about 2 years older than me
and she has long strawberry blonde hair tied back
and wearing a green velvet dress and she is busy
doing something artistic on the small center table
and there is an older male there...

and he is wearing black and gray with a beret on
his head and he hands me a letter that was meant
for me and its hard to read in the candle-light
but i can see that its hand written and two pages
long....

and then the male says that he and the female are
going to some exhibit later that evening and he
hands me the poster invitation....

and on the poster it says YELLOW BLACK AND WHITE
and its a black background with several yellow
items lined up next to each other...

the first item is an empty golden picture frame
turned on its side... the second image is of a large
bee... the third image is of a female with long
black hair wearing yellow and laying on her
side on a golden lounger sofa... and the fourth
image is that of a closed door...

the male tells me that 'yellow black and white' is
the name of the exhibit and its for some artist
that i no longer remember the name but seems
to be a friend to the male and he invites me to
come and i agree to go because i have nothing
better to do and i do not wish to stay in my
drab apartment waiting on the cat.

~fin